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Apartado 0857-00259 Zona 14 Panamá. Panamá
Casa 54 Calle 4ta, La Primavera, CHEPO, REPUBLICA DE PANAMÁ
Correo Elect./E-Mail: macsdowell@hotmail.com; ajmcd2010@hotmail.com
TEL: 011 (507) 6652-4362, Cell: 6666-0994
“From Boys in the Hood to the Brotherhood”
“My life was going from bad to worse”- w7/1/15 p.10
Experience of Stephen Monroe McDowell
Year born: 1952
Country of origin: United States
History: Street thug, violent temper
w7/1/15 p.10 article for the public is the Tip of the Iceberg, this slightly abridged version gives the depth of it all.
SO MANY FRIENDS HAVE CALLED, COMMENTED, WROTE AND ASKED FOR MORE DETAILS. SO DON’T BE OFFENDED CAUSE I DIDN’T BEND IT. HERE IT IS, THE NAKED TRUTH, HOW I WAS IN MY YOUTH. “THANK YOU AGAIN JEHOVAH (GAL.2:20, 21)”.
In my last year of high school in Los Angeles, California, the neighborhood of Washington High School, where the notorious gang the CRIPS became popular around the 1970s. My significant encounter with the gang happened this way. At the age of 18, I went to a house party right across from the hi gh school. I caught the attention of one young lady who would only dance with me, and after we left the party, just outside I was surrounded by members of the Notorious Crips Gang. One of the larger size gang members confronted me to fight over her, with the others just waiting to jump in and beat me down. I said to myself “I know I’m going to die tonight. I’m surrounded with no way out”. Actually, I was not supposed to live even to become 5 years old. Let me explain what I’m talking about before I continue.
MY DEATH ORIENTED PAST
First I was expected to die at 6 months old back in 1952 but survived to become the poster boy for the “Community Chest Charity Organization. I was diagnosed to die within 6 months with a Polyp Brain Tumor constantly growing inside my head. My parents being a poor family and my Mother very religious gave me over to medical science, to experimental surgery, entering the brain through the nasal cavity. It was a successful operation and put into the Journal of Medical History as a first of it’s kind. Then I became the Poster Boy for the American Community Chest Charity Organization. Yet my family received no additional benefits.
Excerpt: JET Magazine- December 1952
The next two years were crucial as I also contracted meningitis twice.
Throughout my childhood until 13 years old I couldn’t play rough like most children. Just to play-wrestle with my father caused nose bleeding, even marching in the Sun at the May Day Children’s Parade caused nose bleeds again. Finally in the 7th grade it was required that all had to strip into gym clothes but due to my delicate nose cavity, I could not participate in contact sports. But one day the kids were playing soccer and I just had to play. It provoked a profuse nose bleed that would not stop. I was rushed to the hospital, and one of the same Doctors that did my 1952 surgery was on duty.
Medical technology had advanced, so now they stopped, cauterized, and sealed the brain surgery through the nasal cavity. Now I became a regular neighborhood teen romping with my 3 brothers and 2 sisters and the neighborhood children. I was born and raised in intercity Los Angeles, California, in areas infamous for their street gangs and drugs. My parents had six children, of whom I am the second. Like most intercity families, we were low income family, having to rent homes and moved some 8 times by the time I was 11 years old. That was when my parents bought us a middle class 4 bedroom home in a white neighborhood. My Mother arranged for us teenagers to attend the more affluent white schools just out of our neighborhood.
Again my Mother being very religious brought us up as Protestants in the Church of the Living God. We learned basic doctrines in Vacation Bible School. Some of us loved being in the Choir visiting other evangelist churches and competing in singing. Still during the rest of the week, back in the neighborhood we were bad. Socially smoking, experimenting with drugs and we used our church offering money from my Mother to buy candy after church. I thought it was for this reason that when the people at church started jumping up and shouting and receiving the supposed “holy ghost” it didn’t happen to us kids or to my Mother. So now I’m wondering what other churches were like. I went regularly with my friend Buster to the Catholic Church, but it was too short, boring, and odd hearing Latin spoken, they also did weird signs and they hardly ever used the Bible!
BECOMING ONE OF THE BOYS IN OUR HOOD
Well it was now time to go to high school and my Mother had us using a friend’s address so we could attend the White majority school (Morningside) in Inglewood instead of the neighborhood Blacks High Schools of Los Angeles. But even there, I got involved with drugs, immorality and profane language which I hide from my parents (Prov.13:20).
I was a running back on the 2nd football team. Competing with my older brother Jimmy for that position until I was hit by a truck riding my bike and that broke two ribs and caused a knee injury. Well that ended my hopes to be known as a high school sports figure. The next year we were transferred to the almost all Black, Washington High School because they discovered our true address living out of the white school district. Now we were going to high school with the teens of our own neighborhood (boys in the hood) which meant proving yourself. Boxing matches in back yards, street tackle football against various other neighborhoods, which resulting in fights. Now it was Marijuana, Red Devils (amphetamines) and sniffing airplane model glue in a bag. It was still the Hippy Era and we converted our garage into a recreation den. Painted the walls and ceiling black and put up psychedelic black light posters that glowed in the dark with “black florencent lights”. That became the social hangout spot.
The depth of our sex lives was unknown to our parents, that we would bring some of the neighborhood girls back room there, and also use it to get high. Some weekends with our parents permission we had 25-50 cent entrance parties with some 50 to over 100 school students partying there. One night it got out of hand so that my Mother came out, shoot off her gun and sent everybody running homeward bound. It was like a club house for us Guys in the Hood, where we talked about life, cars, teenage problems and our adventures with girls, getting high, stealing meat, liquor and food, even how easily we broke into the supermarket at night. Growing up, I had a quick and violent temper. In my neighborhood, street fighting was a way of life. I was quiet and avoided brawls. But when I fought, I did not fight fair. I would use anything as a weapon to win. It was mean but that was how I was seen. I even attacked my older brother with an iron skillet, missed him and broke it on the metal bed frame. My parents stopped me from choking one of my brothers to death during a fit of anger. But one time I was losing a fight and my one year younger sister Connie jumped in on his back, biting him to help me out. From then on, her reputation became well known. What I learned at church did not help me. I used to justify my temper saying: “Vengeance is the Lord’s and I’m his instrument!”
Through it all, I was a good student in high school even through the Black Awareness Days. The Black Panthers, a political violent group that fought for our civil rights and were very influential then in the late 1960s and thus I became more prejudice. I became a member of the Black Student Union that defended the same causes during the Black Pride/Civil Rights Movement which made me racist against White.
My violent nature was even motivated to the extent that I even shared in hate crimes. For example, when we went to the movies and they played southern states movies with acts against blacks and slaves, incensed by these injustices, we would beat up white kids right there in the theater and go roving in nearby white neighborhoods looking for more to beat up. I was becoming just what my mother didn’t want, up to no good growing in my own neighborhood, and she didn’t know it, that my life was going from bad to worse (1Cor.15:33). My older brother Jimmy was always getting caught in wrongdoing. He had gone to jail a number of times, so my father told him “this time I’m going to put you in jail or you go to the Army”. My brother chose the Army and didn’t’ last there very long before being discharged. I was the 2nd oldest child of six and my Mother’s hopes were in me to get a university education. I graduated with As and one B+ yet decided to take a year off schooling before entering college. Still By my late teens my brothers and I had been in trouble with the authorities and lead lives of hoodlums. Two of the times I went to jail was because of an attack on Whites that harassed my younger brother. I put one in the hospital by hitting him in the head with my skateboard and he fell into the steel bumper of a car. I grabbed my skateboard and took off. Another time my attack dog Lady jumped in and ripped up the chest of another enemy I was fighting with. I thought I got away both times, but later the police came to my school and arrested me right there in the classrooms. And my parents had to pay the bills and damages and thus had me take my youngest brother back and forth to Karate School so as to defend himself. Again that violent spirit was promoted as a way of life.
Well in 1970 I graduated from High School, thinking more maturely now, I had a secular job but still smoked socially marijuana and cigarettes and was sexually active .
For that reason I kept going to neighborhood parties, and there I received the romantic interest of one of the gang’s neighborhood girls and now found myself surrounded by the gang of Crips. This takes us back to my perilous situation that was mentioned in the beginning. Well I got into my stance to fight and defend myself, but knew the rest of the gang would help him beat me down. I already knew of their bad reputation. Then all of a sudden, through the crowd a smaller figure, pushed this big black guy in the chest and said “Leave him alone! That’s my brother”! It was my younger brother, 16 year old WAM, that saved me. He was with the Crips Gang and I didn’t even know it, and from then on the word was “That’s Lil WAMs brother” meaning I’m untouchable. Weekend parties were something regular in our lives thus it was in this following way that I came in contact with Jehovah’s Witnesses and “The Truth”. On another night a group of us from Our Hood were getting ready to go to a late night house party. My good friend Richard who lived up the street was raised around the Truth (not baptized), his parents being Witnesses but he wanted to associate and party with us, the neighborhood crew. He wanted to go to the party with us at 9PM that night so I went with him to ask his Father for permission. His Father tried to reason with him about what if Armageddon catches you there? I curiously asked him, “What is this Armageddon stuff”? He briefly explained then said to his son, “Now you decide for yourself.” Well, we went to the party anyway, returning after 4am that morning. Now his Father became more firm with him about attending all their Witness meetings. So I was invited to my 1st meeting of Jehovah’s Witnesses, in nearby Inglewood, CA in the HOLLYPARK Congregation of 8 Nationalities. I wanted to dress to impress so I wore my over the collar open shirt, my deep brown leather coat and a pair of slacks. But I was the one who got impressed. Wow! What harmony. From the very start I could tell how different the Witnesses were. I was so impressed that everybody had and used the Bible. Even young people gave brief talks (1Cor. 14:24, 25). After the meeting, I asked bible questions for a ½ hour or so but when asked, I didn’t want a personal Bible study. I was used to going to church and during the week living life my way. Later I asked our pastor about things I was learning and his answer was “Don’t question it, have faith, just believe.” Now I began comparing our beliefs with that which the Witnesses were showing me, what the Bible really teaches. I was really impressed that God had a name JEHOVAH that we didn’t use in our Church. I argued that point with different Pastors that we should appreciate the name of the one who is our “grand benefactor” (Ps.83:18, 1John 4:10). Then I finally stopped going to Church. Yet at the time, this knowledge didn’t affect my conduct. I was still doing what was wrong and my violent spirit was still strong.
HOW THE BIBLE CHANGED MY LIFE
Now I was attending all weekly meetings for 3 months without a formal Bible study. I was still immoral and smoking marijuana. Then something happened to make me serious about the Truth. On the Monday night of the Congregation Book Study there was also a Soul Music Concert at the Hollywood Palladium. For some reason that day, I was not in contact with my friend Richard and rather than going to the Congregation Book Study that night he went to the Hollywood Concert, whereas I attended the Congregation Book Study with his family. The next day my friend informed me that at the Concert he threw the first blow and then the rest of the gang members joined in and beat the young man to death. Why did they do it? Simple because he didn’t give them his leather coat when they asked for it. That following night the police came and took my friend to jail for murder along with other members of the Crips. At the trial they laughed at their accomplishment of taking a life. The majority were given life sentences, they showed no remorse (Prov.24:1, 2). Richard, the Witness son, being only 17 years old, only served a one year sentence, because he was the son of an internationally famous jazz saxophonist Big “J” McNeely who was also a Jehovah Witness. His father arranged for him to study while in Prison. After he left prison he never decided to pursue the Truth (Prov.10:9). That murder made me seriously reflect on myself. At the time I didn’t have real spirituality. Now, what’s the point? If I had known they were going to The Concert that day I would have gone also. I was 18 years old and would have received the life sentence along with the rest. I thought, “Oh how Jehovah had protected me. Being at the Witness Meeting saved my life”. Now I accepted the Bible Study Program and studied twice a week with Bro. Cecil McNeely, my friend’s father. I guess to him, it was like being a son with me readily accepting the Truth.
I always had some of my younger brothers and sisters or cousins who lived with us attending the meetings with me and there were 10 -14 of us young ones living in our home.
1968 MCDOWELL/BROWN DOZEN AT DISNEYLAND.
Well I stopped smoking, ended my immoral life and stopped decorating houses for false religion’s Christmas which paid me hundreds of dollars. Sadly though I wanted to keep smoking “Weed” (marijuana). I actually prayed to God to forgive me, even doing so out loud. After reading the account of Moses at the Burning Bush, I asked God for a sign to forgive me for smoking weed which I thought was my only sin left (Ex.3:3, 4). One night while my fleshly brothers and others were in our converted den garage getting high and then I wanted to join them. I first stood outside in the driveway praying for forgiveness and then before I went in, a crack appeared in the ground, what I imagined to be the bright colorful image of Jesus appeared, then I dropped to my knees and it told me I was forgiven, then it put a sparkling, shimmering necklace over my neck, then smiled and then he and the necklace broke up and disappeared. I ran into where my brothers were and told them. “Hey, I spoke to God”. They informed me that they too had heard our voices. When I told the Witnesses of my experience, they explained and helped me to see the connection between drugs and spiritism and the Demons trying to fool me (Rev. 20:8). After a couple of more experiences with the demons holding me down in my bed, by applying Bible counsel I broke free, recognizing that you can’t partake of Jehovah’s table and the table of the demons.
MY FIGHT TO BE IN THE BROTHERHOOD
Now I’m more serious about changing my life. Now I no longer wanted to get a superior education as my mother hoped and expected and especially not go because I was waiting for the “End” to come soon. It was now 1972 and my Mother had threatened to go to the Kingdom Hall to curse out the brothers for changing me. It all came to a head within three months of my studying. After I returned home from a meeting one night, my mother grabbed me by the collar with a one foot Butcher’s knife in her hand, put it in in my face and began to curse me and tell me how no good I was, failing in her expectations for me. That night she kicked me out of the house. Her and my father were already having problems, he was an occasional wife beater so my Father said nothing. He just thought I was interested in some girl in the religion at that Kingdom Hall. I temporarily moved far away from the congregation and thus studied out there irregularly. Finally I rented my apartment near the original Kingdom Hall and started studying regularly with a young teenage brother Benny Harris and started getting what I needed, good association with young ones in the congregation.
As I grew closer to the congregation I saw situations among Jehovah’s Witnesses that astounded me. For example, one white brother had to travel abroad for a time and left his children in the care of other races even blacks. Also, a white Sister’s Family took into their home a black youth that needed a place to live, although she had 4 children at home, one a teenage daughter who was the sister of the young Witness Benny that gave me bible classes.
Things like these proved to me that Jehovah’s Witnesses fit the description that Jesus gave at John 13:35: “By this all will know that you are my disciples if you have love among yourselves”. Unlike in my neighborhood, I knew I had found a true brotherhood. And I saw that the Witnesses were united, they all preached God’s Kingdom from house to house, working together to obey Jesus’ command to, “Go, therefore, and make disciples.”—Matthew 24:14; 28:19. I soon became a bold publisher too, getting in 40-70 hours a month in the ministry. But when I joined the Theocratic Ministry School, I was so nervous that in my first talk I turned pale and was dripping sweat before I left the platform. During my second bible reading, everything went black, a long pause in the reading, I went pale and again my clothes were soaked in sweat, dazed but I finished the reading. The congregation servant (elder) at the time, Bro. Wiesenberger a German Brother, stern but caring, tried to help me. Using the “Qualified to be Ministers” Book shared that 1. “The friends in the rows are not your foes.” 2. Concentrate on the information, 3. pray first and always on your side is 4. good preparation. I had a tendency to rhyme so I never forgot what he said. Over the years I still have had problems with my nerves during congregation public speaking. On occasions I have fainted, spoke confused, fell out and once took the podium down with me to the floor, even hospitalized twice. To date I have to rely heavily on Jehovah’s help (like the Apostle Paul said, “…when I am weak I am strong”.) 2Cor. 12:9. Another area, in which the Brothers had to help me some, is that I was popular with the girls growing up around the Truth, so I was warned about the weaker ones (2Tim. 2:22). Only after accepting the needed counsel and discipline did I feel good in my relationship with Jehovah.
Now here I was now doing great in the Truth, living on my own, but still I wasn’t baptized after studying 4 books in two years (The Truth Book, Peace & Security, Impossible to Lie, Life Everlasting…Sons…). That goal was put before me and Discipline and on October 31, 1973: “I dedicated my life to Jehovah and was baptized January 5th, 1974 at the Los Angeles Leimert Assembly Hall” and my entire unbelieving Family attended even my opposing violent Mother. The later Famous Actress CHRIST LOVE/ Teresa Graves was baptized with our same Group.
In those days many of us thought the end of the world was right on us. I decided to become a Pioneer Minister from then until “The End.” I worked a rotating shift job that caused me to miss some meetings and it bothered my conscience. I had $5,000.00 saved up to buy with cash, my new car (Costume Black & Gold Pontiac Firebird) after my $500.00 down payment to special order it. I decided to lose, forfeit the down payment, not buy the car, and to use the rest of money to be a Regular Pioneer Minister until Armageddon (Mark 13:10; Ps. 89:1). I could budget well and my furnished apartment was just $125.00 monthly and I didn’t eat much. I figured my $$$ could last until 1975, the calculated end of man’s 6000 years of existence. So I quit a great job at B.F. Goodrich Chemical Co, started 75 hour Auxiliary Pioneering, and by the Fall I was a 100 hour Regular Pioneer Minister.
Anyway during my ministry one day, I was taken on a return visit and I received a shock. There was a Brother, Ken Ward who wanted to give me his return visit that he couldn’t study with. When we went into the student’s apartment I got my shock. It was one of the prison thug dropouts from my High School, one of my enemies in School. His family used to fight with my friend’s family that lived next door to them and we watched wanting to help fight against them. On the return visit I just kept silent during the visit but still in the end, I accepted to study the Bible with him. Wow! How Jehovah was refining me. Without hesitation, I taught him to read better, learn Bible Truth, and then get an apartment living with another Bible student of mine. They Michael Lewis and Henry Tally were both baptized shortly thereafter.
After my Grandfather Charlie McDowell was shot and killed in 1975, I went to live with and take care of my Grandmother RENA in Richland Farms, Compton, CA.
There I saw that I needed to keep working on my temper. My changing took a lot of effort and sincere prayer. I had to ‘make my mind over’ to not only act peaceably, but to really see it as the best way of life. (Romans 12:2) I would later have many tests to show those needed changes. For example, while in the Ministry on one occasion I chased after a thief who had just stole the stereo from my car. As I got closer to him he dropped the radio and kept running. When I related to the others how I got my radio back, one of the congregation elders Jaime asked me, “Stephen, what would you have done if you had caught up with the thief?” That question motivated me to continue working at being peaceable. Sadly years later, I caught someone else stealing my new stereo from the car. I chased him down, tackled him football style and commenced beating him with a tennis racket I had grabbed from my house, until my conscience kicked in and condemned me. “What if someone saw me and knows I’m a Witness? What if he had had a knife or worse a gun?” Oh how I meditated on my fight between the mind and the flesh as described by Paul at Ro.7:21-25.
My Father now divorced from Moms started studying and after a couple of months admitted he wasn’t ready to live up to Bible standards. After giving up my Job and my Firebird muscle car to preach the Fireword, I thus continued as a Full Time Minister there in Compton.
I was interviewed at the Circuit Assembly about choosing my Meetings over my Job and Pioneering the Fireword over the fast and furious Firebird and was soon afterward appointed as a Ministerial Servant. Then I gave my first 3 part Public Bible Talk Symposium (55min.) and finally this time, thanks to Jehovah, I was able to control my nervousness.
Our then Circuit Overseer Bro. Robert P. Johnson recommended I think about Bethel Service (2Tim. 2:22). Interestingly that same year I was privileged to take a Kavelin Tour to Bethel, New York and WT Farms. I was so impressed with the organization of the Organization.
“My my my I thought, Oh what a privilege it would be to live and work here for Jehovah” (ECC. 12:1)
Well, my application was accepted in 5 weeks. There I lived in a 3 man room and my first roommates were white.
Honestly, with these two roommates of mine, we got along just fine. OK, imagine me months later in a room full of black and white Bethelites together watching “Roots” (The Slave Movie). Now I’m calm, collective, laughing at my racist past, seeing my changes that I hope will last. Wow Stevie! Look how Jehovah is refining you!
It was only then that I began communicating more regularly with my estranged Mother. After divorcing my father she became the girlfriend of the famous Boxer Ken Norton who won the Championship Title from Mohammed Alli. Accompanying him to New York she came to visit me and toured Brooklyn Bethel. She was impressed after visiting our World Headquarters and thus had a more positive attitude toward me and the Truth. Previous to this, her older Sister Fannie had become a Witness and recently her younger brother Eddie. Other good influences on her.
My first year I worked in the Factory Job Press cutting deluxe bibles, magazines, songbooks and paper for the presses. A white brother also from California came to Bethel the same day as myself and 6 others. The two of us were in the same New Bethelite Class (New Boys), worked in Bethel on the same jobs, many times just the two of us always together for the first year. Mark Johnson became another very dear friend, one I always looked up when visiting or doing temporary work at NY Bethel in later years.